Resistance is a strong force in your life. You want to achieve a lot. As soon as you get started, BAM! Resistance kicks in. Can you beat resistance and move on?
If you work alone, you’re setting yourself to encounter resistance.
Resistance loves a loner
Because loners have limited energy.
You start a project, all excited about what’s you expect. Then, you lose your way. That’s when resistance gangs up on you, the loner, big time. It’s not much of a fight, really.
As a loner, you are exhausted. All it takes is for resistance to tap you on the shoulder. You crumble like overdone bacon.
[tweetthis]But, you could avoid resistance.[/tweetthis]
In Africa there’s a saying:
If you want to go quickly, go alone. If you want to go far, go with a group.
How do groups help avoid resistance? Well they:
The toughest part of any project is dealing with the pressure to get it done. You need a release valve to give you a breather.
When you rant and rave by yourself, it’s depressing. Suffering alone, let’s you imagine it’s caused by your talent (or lack thereof), your genes, or that you’re a loser. (You’re not alone. Everyone feels lousy often enough. I’ve my share of thinking it’s all me!)
Having someone to listen to you is amazing therapy. It makes you feel heard, witnessed. Afterwards, you’re ready to get back to work. There’s a ton of more mistakes to be made. That’s how to beat resistance.
Provide Exponential Learning
The way media carries on, you think mistake-making is frowned upon.
You want to get things right the first time. And yet, you know it’s impossible to learn without making mistakes. Making mistakes, no matter how useful, is depressing.
When you’re in the throes of depression, you get exhausted quickly. But, being a part of group, you can learn from someone.
When the group shares its learnings and mistakes, all members learn. Exponentially. You’re learning from four-five mistakes. Guess what? many of them aren’t yours.
If you fall prey to resistance, there’s someone there to pick you up. When you struggle, there’s someone to help. If you have questions, there are others to provide answers. All of this helps you move along.
Now, working by yourself, you miss the ongoing support. The struggle wears you out. You give up in the end.
Group support doesn’t work for all the time.
Sometimes all you need do is to clean your desk. You could use ranting and group support, but it’s overkill.
How to Work with a Group?
What if the group doesn’t have a common goal?
Ok, I admit, it is harder when everyone is headed in different directions. Yes, you’ll get a lot further when the group has a common goal.
If this is the case, it’s easier for the group to be counterproductive. Neither you nor anyone else can learn from each other. Everyone has their own agenda.
It’s important for the group to have a common goal and some common guidelines. For example, even if you there are ten writers and each write different types of books, they ‘meet’ online regularly. And post their learnings, as well as a minimum of 800 words.
Don’t You Need the Right Group?
[tweetthis]Having the right group is important. But how do you choose “the” right group?[/tweetthis]
You need to select your group based on the group’s attitude. Here are some guidelines to select a group:
No group functions well if people are not willing to make a sustained commitment to the group.
Balanced Two-Way Sharing
The benefit of a group is the sharing that happens when a member has a problem, challenge or decision. The entire group is involved with the discussion.
The best members are those who are willing to both ask for help and give help. Sometimes you find members who want to hog the limelight. Or, there are those who never ask for help at all.
Finding members who participate in a balanced way goes a long way.
Follow the Guidelines
Every group needs written guidelines about behavior.
Group members must agree on the rules. Every group member must abide by the guidelines. After all, guidelines set the boundaries and create a safe place for everyone.
It is impossible for you to be open about your problems, a great idea, if a member is a competitor listening in.
[tweetthis]When selecting your group, ask whether competitors are allowed.[/tweetthis]
Similar Success and Experience Levels
One way that your group fails is having people at different experience levels in it. This is the way to beat resistance.
The more experienced members mentor the less experienced members. Unfortunately, they get no real value for themselves.
Try to find a group with people that have similar levels of experience and success as you.
You can get a great group, just as soon as you can get a lousy one. So being part of a group isn’t enough. You need to be part of the right group for you.
Resistance Likes Fires
All touchy-feely stuff makes resistance look bad. So, resistance doesn’t like you being in groups.
If prefers the loner. Resistance is happy with the loner.
It pushes you over. Resistance laughs and walks away contentedly.